scent memory

once a perfume girl, always a perfume girl

One of the first things I remember coveting—wanting with my entire heart and soul—was a bottle of Curious by Britney Spears. I was maybe 8 or 9, and according to my mother, too young for “real” perfume. But I was annoying in my desire enough that she finally bought me a shimmer stick with the scent, and you better believe I wore that sucker to death, layers of light pink sparkle all over my wrists and neck and cheeks. Not the cutest look, but damn, I smelled good.

My obsession with perfume has been a lifelong thing. When I was younger, high school and college, it was all about trying to find a signature scent, something that I loved enough to wear always and could become part of the identity I was so desperately trying to find. But I’m a fickle creature, and even when I found scents I really enjoyed, i always got bored of them eventually.

When I was in my late twenties, i discovered r/indiemakeupandmore on Reddit, and was introduced to the wide world of niche and indie perfume. And now that i had grown-up money, I bought tons and tons of it, all sitting pretty on my shelf, a scent for every mood and occasion. I’ve long given up finding a signature; my signature is that if you ask me what i’m wearing, it probably has a very weird name and at least one note that might raise an eyebrow.

So it makes sense that I have perfumes I associate with my books. Not necessarily because it’s what I wore while working on them—I tried to do that, with the first few, but again, I like to have variety—but because they smell like the story feels.

For FOR THE WOLF, it’s Bonfires at Dusk by Arcana. The notes are smoke and trees and lavender, and it smells like you’ve thrown a bundle of herbs in your campfire as the forest around you creeps closer. This one gets a lot of play in autumn, though I tend to break it out whenever I’m feeling nostalgic.

FOR THE THRONE is Smoke and Mirrors by Alkemia. This one is simple—just vanilla and smoke—but something about the way they play off each other really does have a silvery, mirror-like quality. It smells delicious but also like a warning, like something from the other side of a veil that maybe you aren’t supposed to see.

The Nightshade Crown series (which wraps up in July!) smells like Finally A Star by Osmofolia. Cardamom, grapefruit, ozone…and ham. Yeah. But the ham is less bacon and more just a meaty-smoky heaviness that brings down the rest of the more ethereal notes. It’s glitz and shine with something that feels dangerous lurking just below.

And RELIQUARY, my horror debut that comes out next year, is Pumpkins Crave Vampire Squid by Arcana. I don’t really know how to describe the way this one smells, because on paper it doesn’t make sense—pumpkins and spice the likes of which you’d find in an autumn candle, somehow perfectly twined with saltwater and ink. It’s a heavy holiday feast next to a dark ocean, comfort with a foreboding edge.

In actual book news—THE NIGHTSHADE GOD is, still, up for preorder! It’s a book that I anticipate to be polarizing (really, the end of a series always is), but I’m immensely proud of it. I’m going on tour for it in July, if you want to join!